a letter after a letter :(

                                Today,I am so emotional.okay,not just for today but for seven days.LOL.I am in sadness for almost a week.haha.do you know why?the first thing is,my heartbeat.you know what?sometimes it beat so vigorously,sometimes its chill and sometimes so slow.sometimes I unable to breath and hurt on my chest.but I tell no one*avoiding from being sent to the ward.haha.*.you know what?since these seven days,I got sleepless nights.because I keep thinking and wondering,either there's more tomorrow to me or not.so way now,while pressing this keyboard to write newest post in my blog.It hurts,just like was stabbed with a pencil-shaped wooden timber.I am not joking okay.this is serius.haha.yeah,it hurts so deep until sometimes,I think that I will not have my next seconds.-.-".
                               the second things,it's all about the message that I have sent to a friend of mine in class,and friend of my friend in FB.huhu.actually,I have sent a letter to thee which I was seeking his forgiveness for every wickedness that I have done to thee,hopefully thee will read it,feels what I feel and will forgive me.but I think it just a hope that brings nothing to me.I hope,there's a stair of hope,hopefully when I climb it,my wish will be granted but thats just in fantasy.haha.I mean,thee reply me nothing about the letter.like Malay has said,"sepatah haram,sunat,makruh,wajib,harus pun tak balas".haha.its okay.I know who I am.someone just like me can't be a good friend to anyone just like when I was a kid.i miss my childhood besties~!they are so cool and great!though one one them is younger than me.but,their smiles made me happy.keeps me away from sadness and melancholy.huhu.argh!in a nut shell,I dont have any idea about what thee is thinking about me.but surely thee hates me so much!!huhu
                                  anyways,thee,i am so sorry if for every faults that I have done to you and hopefully you will do forgive me.you know what,I have wished that you are one of my firend or bestie(LOL) but that's ajust a HOPE okay.haha.okay,now I think I am going to bge nuts again.haha.anywyas,thanks for being my friend.kamsahamniida!!!